I made a big decision, and I’m questioned about it incessantly

I made a big decision, and I'm questioned about it incessantly

Dear Amy: I retired at 62 and consider the ability to do so a blessing.

In the lead-up to this momentous event, I alerted family and friends of my decision, which yielded a barrage of unsolicited warnings that my body would wither and my brain turn to an inoperative mush.

Now that I am retired and living in a new community, I am questioned incessantly by apparently well-meaning people about what I do all day, as if enjoying my leisure is a crime.

In fact, I am researching my genealogy, reading, investing, catching up remotely on long-neglected relationships, and enjoying the life I worked 40 years to afford.

In truth, I don’t need to explain myself to anyone, but apparently some justification is expected.

Have you any insights on how to approach these invasive comments?

– Life Is Good

Dear Life is Good: It’s possible that people are asking you how you spend your time not to accuse you of the crime of enjoying your leisure (how dare you!), but because they’re genuinely curious.

The kindest response is to assume they are being genuine. You can say, “After retirement, I’m exploring all of those things that have fascinated me, but which I never had time for. Honestly, I enjoy every day.”

If you discern that people are actually searching for a path to denigrate you, you could add: “… and I play a lot of mini-golf and eat ice cream for dinner. Basically, I’m Ferris Bueller, and every day is a day off.”

Dear Amy: I am in a five-year marriage that I feel is more like a roommate situation. We hardly ever do things together.

Our sexual relationship is almost nonexistent (I’m just not interested in being intimate with him anymore).

He has cheated a few times. I only cheated one time, and that was to get back at him.

I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but since the infidelity, I often find myself not trusting him.

I’m torn up deciding what to do about this relationship.

We have trust issues, and now I feel as if we’re growing apart. I care about him, but I’m not in love with him like I used to be.

Soruce : https://www.mercurynews.com/2023/05/23/ask-amy-i-made-a-big-decision/

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